Exit Sign.

I wonder what it is about me that makes ppl who I think I have the dopest bonds with leave me. No matter if they're friends or what. 3 of the ppl I've connected with on a totally different level have all left me since I've been in Atlanta. And I was positive I'd want them in my life forever. I'd go to the moon and back for them but I never felt appreciated by either one of them. And I always wanted to be around them. It just bothers me to know that ppl can just walk away from you and not think twice about it. I've never been able to just walk away from a person. I just can't do it. There has to be something wrong with me. What it is I've yet to figure out tho. Never treated any of them bad. Welcomed them to anything I had. Everybody says God removed them from your life bc maybe they weren't good for you and they'll figure out that you were a great person. But that doesn't give me comfort bc again I want them in my life forever. Some ppl just get over it and keep it moving but I hurt for a while bc I don't put much into ppl bc I just don't. So it hurts my heart when it happens bc I honestly give a little of my heart. And I'm definitely being sensitive right now but I get like that over ppl I care about. Now that I think about it make it 4 ppl but whatever. For the ppl who never left I love you to death and would make that same trip to the moon for yall too. I guess the difference is yall would be right there on that same trip. I love yall. Everyone that stayed and everyone that left too. 

Lemonade

"When life gives you lemons make lemonade."- somebody 

Although the saying is definitely true it's not that simple. You've actually got to put in some work for that refreshing drink. 

Nobody likes to go through rough times but we all have to. What matters is who you become after. The situation doesn't matter. It could be the way a boxer changes up his game plan after preparing for months then getting knocked down in the first round. It could also be the kid who grew up in the worst condition winning the Super Bowl one day. Everybody will encounter a time where they go into a situation expecting one thing and getting something totally different. At that point you have to do something to make things better. You have to get those ingredients for your lemonade. Do whatever you have to do to get the job done. After getting handed my own lemons a few months ago my homeboy told me that God is using this pain to push me towards my purpose. And I truly believe it. So now I'm gathering my sugar, getting my water and whatever else that goes into the stuff (I barely drink it) and I'm starting on my drink.  For any bad hands or bag of lemons you have just pray that your purpose gets revealed to you and work towards it. Make it work and sit back and enjoy yours. 

Embracing Fear

The other day I was thinking on how many guys did I know that died while I was growing up and I could only think of two, and both boys had drowned. This sudden realization shocked me, being that I have a child with Autism and that they have great chance to drowning I was immediately struck with fear. The next thought that occurred to me was that I would never let Carter near another swimming pool, lake, pond, even a front yard puddle.  As I thought more on that concept I began to see how I was thinking like King Stefan from Maleficent.

If you haven't seen Maleficent its basically a different take on the Sleeping Beauty that we all know.  The part that is critical to this blog is when after his daughter is cursed that on her 16th birthday she will be pricked with a needle from spinning will that will cast her into a slumber only to be awaken by true love's kiss.  Upon hearing the curse King Stefan reacted how most of us would react, in fear.  He ordered all the spinning wheels be locked away and that his daughter be basically raised away from humanity. Now lets look at this curse another way, what we can take from it is that when your daughter turns 16, she will begin her search for her true love after a small prick from a normal tool allows her to get some good rest.  He could of focused on using those 16 years to being the best father he could be and prepare her for true love has to offer.  He wasted those years in fear of the inevitable as all they things cursed came true, including having a true love.

As I began to focus more on my situation I decided that I wouldn't be like the king but I  would be open to the opportunity that is granted to Carter and I.  If it is probable that Carter will have some sort of experience with water it is better that I help prepare him for that situation and be the best father I can be.  In this new year don't be overcome by fear and fight it with preparation and love.

-Irvin J. Powell