I do.... Not know.

Man... I honestly don't know if I can see myself getting married. I'm 32 and my parents have been married 35 years. That's fucking amazing but I do know it's hard and am I able to be that into one woman that I'd be willing to put up with her and only her? There's nothing about marriage that makes me want to do it other than the fact that if she cheats on me I can threaten to leave unless she grants me three sexual fantasies in which they all involve me and 2-3 women. Other than that it just doesn't quite make me too eager to make that happen. Now don't get me wrong I want a long term all the way committed relationship but what if I just get bored one day or she does and just what's to skate? We can go our separate ways with no legal matters or money involved. Marriage seems so final and I haven't seen too many just all the way happy couples. Yeah they exist but maybe I'm not looking for them. Who knows. Most of the time when I see a married dude I feel sorry for him. Some do seem miserable lol but then some wouldn't want to be around anyone but their wife and that's crazy dope! Those are the ones you see at the club with their wife or taking the funny pictures or something. I can see that being cool. I don't know it's just weird like when I'm at a wedding (been to a few of my boy's weddings this year) I'm always happy for them and feel like it's a such thing as true love but I can never picture myself doing it. Then if I do see myself getting married I always imagine it being like a sitcom. Does that mean it won't be real? Maybe it's because 95 percent of the marriages I see all are the wife and 2-4 kids, white picket fence, coaching the little league, church every Sunday, matching wardrobe family portrait type families. ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that. I respect it but it's not for me. One of my favorite shows is Californication and if anyone watches you know how dysfunctional they are but I can identify with it or it seems more appealing than the previously mentioned situation. So what does that say about me? And if this post makes no sense to you imagine how I feel. 

Dear Uncle Hov

Dear Uncle Hov,

Long time no see unc! I hope all is well, I know the game is the game. I’m fine, just really trying to get use to all these new niggas Auntie Hip-Hop been bringing around. She used to have much better taste back when I used to love her more. I’ve been wondering when you were coming back in town? Saw you in New York for the B-sides show and it reminded me of so many memories.

You remember that day in Jacksonville when my cousin Bj and I were sitting in the floor at 2am and you let me hear “Never change” for the first time. At 14 I was really saying I would never change and feeling like I understood it all. Nobody could tell me their uncle gave me better advice than my Uncle Hov. “We all fish, you better teach ya folk”. So I went back outside the next day telling my boys “If we stay strong, we can get paper longer than Pippen’s arms” they had no choice but to believe me because I said it with just as much conviction as you did!

I was telling my mom about that day you came by the house and she wasn’t home to let me hear “Renegade”. I don’t know if you really intended for me to hear it because you left the cd in my xbox. But I just know it was perfect because that same day I was sitting in the house waiting on somebody to bring me something to eat and I got tired of it. I had $20 from playing pencil break at school, gave the neighborhood alcoholic $5 to take me to get food, came back and sat on the porch all night shooting basketball and eating French fries. From that point on I was grown.

It seems like you always came thru at the perfect times. You went on this long vacation once but I always knew you would come back. Was expecting you to bring me back this Michael Jordan jersey even though you told me that button ups was the way to go now. It’s one of few times you gave me mixed info but the game was fucked up! You tried but you couldn’t leave because you do love us. Brought me back some comic books and a beach chair and I was perfectly fine with it.

Long story short Uncle Hov, I’m 27 now and it’s your fault I don’t think like other 27 year olds, “My demeanor, 30 years my senior… Rookies blame it on the age difference”, so I need you to hurry up and come back for a visit because if 30 is the new 20 I’m getting real close to it and I need to keep being ahead. I know you’re in ______ with the wife and kid though, and I’ll never give up that info but streets is talking…. Death Before dishonor Correct?

Revolution

I've had this particular conversation about three times this week and I felt like I needed to put the words out there for a few of y'all to read...

It's time to wake up. We've all heard about the revolution but do we really know what it's all about? Each time I've heard it it's been associated with violence. But I've come to the conclusion that the revolution is actually going to be very peaceful and powerful at the same time. And here's exactly why I say that.

We're all part of a system. We were born into it. Out parents were born into it. Their parents were born into it. It's changed over the years but it's all the same. Think about it. From the first day of school until your very last day of school ever, how much did you learn? How much of that knowledge do you actually use? School is an absolute waste of time. I've never had to know what an isosceles triangle was a day in my life after I took the test on it. I mean we spend so much time learning about stuff that we'll never need then get told we can't progress if we don't know it. Don't get me wrong knowledge is important and some stuff in school was very important but nothing really past 8th grade is needed unless you're specializing in something. School should be about building relationships and learning what applies to the real world. But the system is set up to keep us thinking this is what you're supposed to do. When some kids graduate high school and college they get blindsided by life because they just weren't ready for it. Why is that? Are we not supposed to be prepared for how deal with real life issues? I just think we should look at things a little differently than the way we have since everything started. I say all that to say the revolution has started. Look who's starting to own a lot of things now. Rappers and actors etc. are turning into business men and women who are starting to show the younger generation you don't need to have a degree or even a high school diploma to make it. They're worth hundreds of millions of dollars and rub elbows with the oldest richest people in the world. It was really the same with the drug dealers. Educated in life not calculus and figured out how to make it and turned the money they made into a legit business. Same model but the system couldn't allow that but now more people aren't doing it legally and are slowly taking over. I'm not saying you should drop out of school but you should be allowed to choose your path before 18. School should teach the basics and let you choose how you wanna build after that. We'll have more people contributing and helping to build earlier. But pretty soon people are going to get tired of that 9-5 that only allows them to pay bills and barely have enough for gas and food for the next two weeks. Too tired when you get off to put the energy into your dreams so you just go to sleep and go to work the next day. This cycle is the system at work. But not for long... 

Gotta Be Something Realer

I was scrolling my IG timeline the other day and I noticed that I had followed a lot of nice looking women and I asked myself why and couldn't answer my own question. I guess the answer is because that's what I'm supposed to do. Men are supposed to look at beautiful women and fall in love or lust (whatever makes you feel better) but that's played.. To me of course. It's amazing how all they have to do is show their bodies and say absolutely nothing on an IG video and next thing you know she's got 10k followers, booking info and modeling pics. The comment section is filled with dudes spitting their best lines that really go unnoticed because she's only responding to the fake gay comments from her homegirls and maybe one or two from her male friends. I usually say shoot your shot but not here brethren. You have zero chances of bagging her because she's busy getting gassed by likes and comments. Even though you're more than aware of this you still feed into it because... Well.. You're a man and you like women! It's cool to have a nice piece of flesh bless the timeline every once in a while but I've grown tired of it. What do I/we get outta that? Your vacation on South Beach has nothing to do with this 10 hour shift I'm about to work. Deleted at 10k? Who cares? The absolute worst thing is watching a 15 second video of them listening to a song and looking into the camera saying nothing. Can you at least rap the lyrics? I can download the song at any time and play it for myself. I had to unfollow all that shit because it's not adding any type of value to my life but I can't knock you or the fans/followers for any of it. It's a hustle and I get it but again when I'm getting ready for a 4-5 day stretch of 10 hour shifts the last thing I care about is watching you fly to Dubai off some dudes change. It's gotta be something realer than that. It's just too easy to become a star, celebrity or famous now but get it how you live. I just wonder what's gonna happen when that fades. These are just my thoughts. No shots or shade at anyone at all.