New Year... New... Me?

"I started at the bottom, blind leading the blind... I did it by myself, so it took me some time" -Rick Ross; Rapper


It's that time of the year. The beginning of the year where everybody is gearing up for change... and others are gearing up to discourage it. One of the most discouraging ills of this beautiful country is that we have a society that prefers to criticize more than they prefer to congratulate. Discourage more than encourage. Don't get me wrong, I know some of it is jokes, but more often than not people actually are critical of those people who set goals for the new year.

Let's dissect it though. I wonder if people ever stop to think about why some people wait for the new year to try to change. Because not only is change hard... it's scary! A new year is symbolic of another chance and that's motivating. Change is a very scary thing because often times the only thing people fear more than death, is failure. It's such a scary thing to put your all into something and it not work out how you hoped. It's also hard to be consistently disciplined enough to resist what ever temptation can detour you from the goals you have set.

For example, if your goal is to get out of a toxic relationship right? You tweet it, you talk about it, you put it in the universe, you actually try to but the feelings unfortunately are still there right? people not only wait for you to go back to that relationship just to say "I told you so", they rarely will try to help you with the process of getting away. But what are friends for? Why aren't we there for each other more without judgment? Why don't we give each other more positive reinforcement?

Another example, your "new year, new me" goal is to relocate to a new city. You tweet it, you talk about it, you put it in the universe, you actually try to but the reality of life is that relocation isn't easy.   If your family is where you currently live, even with money and a job lined up it's hard to detach enough to leave. But instead of giving you positive reinforcement, people will tell you and anybody else that will listen that you're not going nowhere. Those same people will wait for six months to pass with you not relocating to bring back up in your face that "you still here". Now I'm not one for excuses at all, but I know we, as a society, would rather pull you back in the water, than to help you get out.

There have been many crossroads in my life that I had to face. Decisions had to be made that shaped my relationships, my career, my family and my happiness. Some helped two of those and ruined another,  helped one and ruined the other three, and otherwise. The point is at all of those crossroads the one constant was disruption. Meaning, however things were before said crossroad, they would never be the same after. Some people would have just turned around and went back into their comfort zone, I too have done so a few times, but why? Because a disruption is exactly that and a lot of times we wonder why shake the boat if everything at the time is manageable. That fear of the unknown is realer than a Mike Tyson punch in the 80's, ask Michael Spinks. It takes the perfect combination of bravery and faith to take a leap... of faith! Which is essentially what being open to change is!

So while there's "new year, new me" posts from people who are in the same position with the same habits as this time last year, people who will be in the same predicament next year, and people with brilliant and hilarious jokes about said people, don' be ashamed to at least attempt to better yourself with the genesis of yet another year you're here! Even if you don't even believe you're capable of doing the things you're professing, say it enough until you do believe it. Encourage people around you to do the same thing. Share your goals, your vision boards, and your lessons learned overtime that will help this year be better. And if December 31, 2016 comes around and not much have changed... thank God you have the chance to try again! It's a marathon, not a sprint.

 My thoughts


"As long as I'm breathing, can't knock the way a nigga eating!"