Past, Future and Reality

You ever wonder about what lies
Behind the wonder in someones eyes
I was walking doing the street
Moving to my own beat
Thinking about you and me, me and you
And then i ran into this brother who seemed kind of blue
I asked him what was the matter
In reply he offered me some laughter
He told me "happiness doesn't always last"
I replied "you shouldn't stay focused on the past"
"Well you go on and keep your humming"
I did but my pace turned to running
Negativity has a way of trapping you
Running your race, hoping it doesn't end up lapping you
As i turned the corner i wanted to look back and see
There was a woman waiting for me
She offered a smile, offered me tea and asked if i had a minute
I really had to get going, but i stayed and asked her whats in it
She replied "i sprinkled some opportunity and time, added a pinch of hope"
A few sips and i felt like i was on dope
She told me to keep smiling and soon i would understand
I did, thanked her for her tea and continued my plan
Right when i made it to my stop, i found
something that made an awful good sound
It was a child with hair as big as the sun
And he was banging on a steel drum
He ordered me to dance and i twisted my hips
He continued to bang as i parted my lips
He gave me a small little note that he placed in my palm
Said it was a recipe for when in a storm to stay calm
Brightness surrounded him and I
And in an instant i wanted to cry
But his hands kept banging and he whispered something
"You have everything you need. Want for nothing"
The past is just the past
Sadness never last
The future gives you optimism
To break free from any mental prison
But you're reality has the power to make you dance
If you focus on the good and give it a chance :)

Is closure really necessary?

Is closure really necessary?

The older I get the more I learn the art of letting go. Its not a 1 2 3 walk away quickie there is definitely a science to it. Everyone on the surface has the method and the ability to just leave things as they were (sarcasm). There is a disgusting obsession with being a savage. My take on it is simple, use people until you cant and then leave them right where you found them. 

Lets be honest, we are all using someone for something. The word use doesn't mean that it has to be negative. We use our friends to give us love, laughs and comfort. We use our parents and family to gives us support. We use our relationships to build intimacy and various other things that we cant gain anywhere else. But what happens when that friendship ends or that relationship dissipates? Its popular to say that you don't care, you moved on, you found something better. My favorite, "Im taking time out to work on me."

Is part of the healing process not finding closure? Closing up those open wounds? Closing that door, that passageway that allows that energy (person/thing) to flow back? Or is it a one way valve equipped to keep you from regurgitating the same things repeatedly?

Jill Scott has a song called Closure which she talked about during an interview. She talks about having sex one more time before leaving someone. But is that really necessary. Closure or an excuse to linger and stay around just a little bit longer? The interview stayed light where jokes were tosses around about having sex so much better than all the times before because "this is it, this is closure". Is that the science?  If you know its the end then why not just walk away? 

In Sex and The City Carrie and Big danced around every season lingering for the sake of trying to salvage something that definitely was over. In the light of it gaining closure seems like a trap. You get caught up in the good and tend to forget the bad. Gaining closure may be a conversation and you start reminiscing on how they made you laugh, how much fun y'all had eating at the waffle house after a night of drinking or that one time the sex was so good. I watched a black series called Chef Julian and the main character had a closure session with a girl he is really into and he behaved immaturely. The climatic scene ended in him wiping tears from his eyes. Closure can be hurtful. It can also be selfish and reopen wounds that should've never been picked in the first place. 

Now don't get me wrong I sometimes suck at walking away and trying to get closure. One of the main reasons some of my exes can send me a text today and I could pause writing this to write them back. Or a friend from college could stop me at an event and we could talk like we haven't missed years, huge chunks out of each others life. It isn't easy and I don't believe that everyone has the ability. An art form in the simplest terms. 

What does one gain from it?

Is it necessary?

Are you enlightened? Is there a sense of peace at the end of it?

Is closure really necessary or is it an excuse?

At a certain point we have to stop giving life to dead situations. Closure is an internal battle that you fix within yourself. If you never got peace during the relationship or friendship chances are you aren't going to get it in the end. There is a peace in wishing them well and letting them go. 

"You're thinking it's a new beginning

When I know that it's the ending
We ended our time for a reason"

-Jilly from Philly "Closure" 

That lonely hour

Lonely hour

This is that lonely hour

That "wyd. You should come over" hour

And if you still acting shy

How about I pull up over hour

This is that lonely hour

Kiss you on your lips real slow hour

And if you don't tell me to stop

Then this is that lay your body low hour

When if we get it on we got to keep our voices low hour

Don't want to wake the neighbors and give them a show hour

This is that lonely hour

Where we wont be doing nothing holy hour

The only time you pray to God is when you touch your toes hour

That "i just ate an hour ago" but i can taste you once more hour

That lonely hour where all that yoga you been practicing

Makes your hips rise, that back dip, soul climaxing

Skin to skin, sweat and our fluids get into the mix hour

That I got mine but I made sure you got your fix hour

And although these are just words, pauses and letters

Hope that your hairs are standing high and your panties wetter

This is still that lonely hour

You haven't text to show me hour

What all the possibilities could be

If you let go of your fears of me

In the back of your mind I got you thinking of all of your favorite positions

Chris Brown on the hook have that ass wishing

But ain't no candles to blow baby, its just me

On hands and knees prepared to answer your fantasy

Open your legs touch where you want me to be

I aint got no time to be a tease

Can give you all that you need, that release

But it is still that lonely hour

Neck damp, eyes wide, breathing heavy hour

Could kiss you from your forehead to your toes once more

If you simply unlocked the door 

But you still checking your phone

Waiting on him to come home

That lonely hour indeed

When you crave to satisfy your need 

The fire in you can be silenced no longer

Intense feelings build and get stronger

This is still that lonely hour

Just going to rub one out or where are my batteries hour

Because it     Is.    Still.   That.   Lonely.   Hour