Is closure really necessary?

Is closure really necessary?

The older I get the more I learn the art of letting go. Its not a 1 2 3 walk away quickie there is definitely a science to it. Everyone on the surface has the method and the ability to just leave things as they were (sarcasm). There is a disgusting obsession with being a savage. My take on it is simple, use people until you cant and then leave them right where you found them. 

Lets be honest, we are all using someone for something. The word use doesn't mean that it has to be negative. We use our friends to give us love, laughs and comfort. We use our parents and family to gives us support. We use our relationships to build intimacy and various other things that we cant gain anywhere else. But what happens when that friendship ends or that relationship dissipates? Its popular to say that you don't care, you moved on, you found something better. My favorite, "Im taking time out to work on me."

Is part of the healing process not finding closure? Closing up those open wounds? Closing that door, that passageway that allows that energy (person/thing) to flow back? Or is it a one way valve equipped to keep you from regurgitating the same things repeatedly?

Jill Scott has a song called Closure which she talked about during an interview. She talks about having sex one more time before leaving someone. But is that really necessary. Closure or an excuse to linger and stay around just a little bit longer? The interview stayed light where jokes were tosses around about having sex so much better than all the times before because "this is it, this is closure". Is that the science?  If you know its the end then why not just walk away? 

In Sex and The City Carrie and Big danced around every season lingering for the sake of trying to salvage something that definitely was over. In the light of it gaining closure seems like a trap. You get caught up in the good and tend to forget the bad. Gaining closure may be a conversation and you start reminiscing on how they made you laugh, how much fun y'all had eating at the waffle house after a night of drinking or that one time the sex was so good. I watched a black series called Chef Julian and the main character had a closure session with a girl he is really into and he behaved immaturely. The climatic scene ended in him wiping tears from his eyes. Closure can be hurtful. It can also be selfish and reopen wounds that should've never been picked in the first place. 

Now don't get me wrong I sometimes suck at walking away and trying to get closure. One of the main reasons some of my exes can send me a text today and I could pause writing this to write them back. Or a friend from college could stop me at an event and we could talk like we haven't missed years, huge chunks out of each others life. It isn't easy and I don't believe that everyone has the ability. An art form in the simplest terms. 

What does one gain from it?

Is it necessary?

Are you enlightened? Is there a sense of peace at the end of it?

Is closure really necessary or is it an excuse?

At a certain point we have to stop giving life to dead situations. Closure is an internal battle that you fix within yourself. If you never got peace during the relationship or friendship chances are you aren't going to get it in the end. There is a peace in wishing them well and letting them go. 

"You're thinking it's a new beginning

When I know that it's the ending
We ended our time for a reason"

-Jilly from Philly "Closure"