The closer i get to those magic numbers the more i start discovered that thing that i have always envied about older women. Women like nia long, jill scott, ms badu, they all have one thing in common. Beauty? Yes. But there is something else , self love and self awareness. Nothing more breathtaking than listening to an interview that jill scott did for the breakfast club and hearing her talking about her journey to becoming a woman, knowing that she wasnt born that perfect being that i often view her as. She had to take some time and come to terms and hold herself accountable for events that happened in her life and during that course she started falling in love with herself on a different level.
The closer i get to 30 the more i am coming to terms with the woman that i am becoming. It took a really bad relationship to shake me up and wake up that woman inside of me. Before then it was so easy to place the blame on man for every bad thing that had happened but then i sat down with myself and said its you girl. You chose him, you chose to deal and then one day it clicked and i just wasnt anymore. Something about truly loving yourself is knowing and being in firm in what you deserve. That love that you need to nurture you. And knowing when to avoid the people that arent giving it. I look at the men and women of our generation and there are so many that arent planted and are just flowing where the wind takes them. Nothing against being free but in order to truly be free youve got to accept your roots, know what is for you and what isnt. Im learning that. Its ultimately a bumpy ride and it isnt always easy, everyday i dont wake up loving that extra cushion, or mole that just appeared over night or my melanin but you got to. No one else is obligated to go on your journey with you and i have accepted that.
I love me and everything about me. From the crazy to the self assured. It is what makes Ingrid, simply Ingrid. Almost 30 and I love the woman that I am and that I am becoming. I don't care what people think about me or what I choose to put my energy into. I am vocal about it. I write about it. Might even sing off key about it. I dance to my own rhythm and I dont need the audience anymore.
Almost 30 and it feels damn good. And it looks damn good.
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