What Is.

Have you ever just wondered what's next? I know I do. Especially as of late I've been waiting for life to get better. I just wanna get back to a happy space. I know God is taking me there but I have to make a few stops along the way. Truth be told I was happy in a situation but I wasn't happy with the work I was putting in in other areas. Maybe I needed to be removed so I could realize my purpose and while it hurts it obviously has a higher meaning. So I've been left wondering what is going to happen next and when!? But when you think about it, that's what's dope about life is that you never know. I mean you really have no clue what's going to happen from one minute to the next. You can spend time worrying so much about what's coming you can't appreciate what's here. It's the same thing for the past. I'll admit that's been one of my biggest issues and I've made a commitment to try and focus on today and making it the best day of my life everyday. It won't be easy but I feel like if I can master that I'll live a happy life. When what's next happens I'll be ready for it. I guess I just had to learn what was and what could be isn't as important as what is. 

Exit Sign.

I wonder what it is about me that makes ppl who I think I have the dopest bonds with leave me. No matter if they're friends or what. 3 of the ppl I've connected with on a totally different level have all left me since I've been in Atlanta. And I was positive I'd want them in my life forever. I'd go to the moon and back for them but I never felt appreciated by either one of them. And I always wanted to be around them. It just bothers me to know that ppl can just walk away from you and not think twice about it. I've never been able to just walk away from a person. I just can't do it. There has to be something wrong with me. What it is I've yet to figure out tho. Never treated any of them bad. Welcomed them to anything I had. Everybody says God removed them from your life bc maybe they weren't good for you and they'll figure out that you were a great person. But that doesn't give me comfort bc again I want them in my life forever. Some ppl just get over it and keep it moving but I hurt for a while bc I don't put much into ppl bc I just don't. So it hurts my heart when it happens bc I honestly give a little of my heart. And I'm definitely being sensitive right now but I get like that over ppl I care about. Now that I think about it make it 4 ppl but whatever. For the ppl who never left I love you to death and would make that same trip to the moon for yall too. I guess the difference is yall would be right there on that same trip. I love yall. Everyone that stayed and everyone that left too. 

Lemonade

"When life gives you lemons make lemonade."- somebody 

Although the saying is definitely true it's not that simple. You've actually got to put in some work for that refreshing drink. 

Nobody likes to go through rough times but we all have to. What matters is who you become after. The situation doesn't matter. It could be the way a boxer changes up his game plan after preparing for months then getting knocked down in the first round. It could also be the kid who grew up in the worst condition winning the Super Bowl one day. Everybody will encounter a time where they go into a situation expecting one thing and getting something totally different. At that point you have to do something to make things better. You have to get those ingredients for your lemonade. Do whatever you have to do to get the job done. After getting handed my own lemons a few months ago my homeboy told me that God is using this pain to push me towards my purpose. And I truly believe it. So now I'm gathering my sugar, getting my water and whatever else that goes into the stuff (I barely drink it) and I'm starting on my drink.  For any bad hands or bag of lemons you have just pray that your purpose gets revealed to you and work towards it. Make it work and sit back and enjoy yours. 

Embracing Fear

The other day I was thinking on how many guys did I know that died while I was growing up and I could only think of two, and both boys had drowned. This sudden realization shocked me, being that I have a child with Autism and that they have great chance to drowning I was immediately struck with fear. The next thought that occurred to me was that I would never let Carter near another swimming pool, lake, pond, even a front yard puddle.  As I thought more on that concept I began to see how I was thinking like King Stefan from Maleficent.

If you haven't seen Maleficent its basically a different take on the Sleeping Beauty that we all know.  The part that is critical to this blog is when after his daughter is cursed that on her 16th birthday she will be pricked with a needle from spinning will that will cast her into a slumber only to be awaken by true love's kiss.  Upon hearing the curse King Stefan reacted how most of us would react, in fear.  He ordered all the spinning wheels be locked away and that his daughter be basically raised away from humanity. Now lets look at this curse another way, what we can take from it is that when your daughter turns 16, she will begin her search for her true love after a small prick from a normal tool allows her to get some good rest.  He could of focused on using those 16 years to being the best father he could be and prepare her for true love has to offer.  He wasted those years in fear of the inevitable as all they things cursed came true, including having a true love.

As I began to focus more on my situation I decided that I wouldn't be like the king but I  would be open to the opportunity that is granted to Carter and I.  If it is probable that Carter will have some sort of experience with water it is better that I help prepare him for that situation and be the best father I can be.  In this new year don't be overcome by fear and fight it with preparation and love.

-Irvin J. Powell

Meeting of the Minds

Can our minds say hello to each other? Even if we haven't. They can talk about where they've been. Mine has been in California. On a beach thinking about a past life where we knew each other and we talked all night about where we wanted to go. Then it went to Paris and waited for you to join at the Eiffel but you never showed. Where has yours been? On a boat or maybe in New York? Or maybe sitting on that same beach next to mine. Just wasn't the right time. In my mind I can look to the right and see you there. You're magnificent and the water barely touches your feet. Even in my mind you're more beautiful than I could imagine. All I need to do is say hi and get you to talk to me. Then our hearts will follow and lead us to that beach just in time to watch the sunrise. 

Last of the Mohicans

Sometimes I like the attention and the praise.  I'm a black male married w/ 2 kids and I'm an excellent father, niggas ask me questions like I'm Uncle Phil (a month ago I woulda said Cliff Huxtable).  But then there are other times when I feel ashamed, often I wonder am I the only dude in my age range living this almost "sitcom" life.  I thought back to when I was younger and realized I was one of very few guys who's parents were happily married.  It seems as if black dudes just don't want to do right.  I could go into facts and statistics and say how bad environments are killing of the strong black man but that won't fix shit.  All in all I'm going to make this a short post and promise to do my part and teach my sons how to treat a woman, how to communicate and how to be strong.  So if 15 or 20 years from now your daughter tells you she's dating someone named Carter Powell or Levi Powell, she's won the jackpot.  

Pain

Have you ever thought about how pain affects you? Any type of pain whether it's emotional or physical. How do you act after enduring pain? Physical pain may cause you to favor the injured area when performing any type of activities. In doing so you can neglect the area and not let it fully recover. Or you can work on that area so much that it's stronger than it was before the pain. You can heal and be just fine with proper care. In most cases you don't carry the effects of that type of pain for the next few years. Emotional pain is way different. You lose a loved one and you hurt forever. A kid gets hurt emotionally bc their dad leaves hurts forever. Your significant other breaks your heart and it might not hurt forever but it feels like it at the time. No matter the situation that type of pain stays with you and constantly bothers you. How do you get away from it? Surrounding yourself with friends just delays it. Thinking about something else just delays it. Trying to replace what you lost doesn't make it better. I've recently been dealing with pain from a relationship and after almost 32 years of living I've realized I have been closed since a relationship that ended almost 10 years ago. I don't need to say what caused it but I've carried that with me ever since. I never sat and thought about it but that has to be it. It's just weird how we carry emotional pain around for years and never know until you meet a situation that causes you to look inside yourself and say you should do something about it. The mind and inner workings of our brain can be as strong or as weak as we let it. You just have to find your own way of dealing with it. Don't let it consume you. Pray about it and realize you can always overcome it.